


Fear of (everything) the Great Unknown

by Peekaboomikayuu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, LITERALLY, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, No major character death so please don't panic when you start reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peekaboomikayuu/pseuds/Peekaboomikayuu
Summary: Yes, Yuuri jumped off a bridge, but in his defence he thought it would lead to death, not....this. Whatever 'this' is.One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Although Yuuri wouldn't necessarily call it a leap, more of a 'letting go' motion.





	Fear of (everything) the Great Unknown

It wasn’t that Yuuri felt he had nothing to live for. To say that would be a gross oversimplification of the things that went on in his mind. Nothing to live for implied that he couldn’t find a reason to continue, but that wasn’t really the case.

He loved Yuuko, loved the Inn, loved his parents and Mari and Minako. He loved dancing until his feet were red raw and his pulse shook his vision in to a seamless blur. He loved sitting on the beach at dawn and pretending his spirits would rise with sun, although they never did.

There were many things he had to live for, but none of them outweighed the reasons to die.

The day he was born he didn’t cry. His pink little face scrunched up like a rejected confession note and his mouth opened wide in an imitation of a baby’s wail but no sound came out. ‘So, he has no voice.’ said the doctor, ‘There are worse problems he could have.’ His mother deemed it 'unprofessional', his father 'an attempt at comfort'.

Whichever they decided, the doctor was right. Yuuri grew into his voice over time but he did not grow in to himself. He was shy and awkward and badly adapted and found no use for his voice even when everyone else said he should be grateful for it.

The ‘worse’ problem, was always, in every situation, debilitating fear.

He would rather have no voice at all than one in his mind that screamed impending death at every turn.

So, at the age of twenty, with not much to show for himself, it seemed like time to call it a day. A long, tedious, miserable day. He missed Vicchan, his grandparents, the feeling of not being afraid. He wanted to go back to the time when he couldn’t cry. When he had nothing to cry _about._

Yuuri had heard people say that death was closing a door on opportunity. Opportunity for him had never been a good word- it was always followed by ‘for things to go wrong’. It was a door he wanted to shut and lock and throw away the key to. He had tried, many a time, but it seemed anxiety had the master key and ironically, was not phased by breaking and entering.

Sitting on the edge of a bridge was far less daunting than he’d anticipated. It was no lonelier than sitting in a crowded room, and held just as much chance for disaster as any other activity he could think of. The view to the water below was pleasant enough, the caress of the breeze not unlike that of his mothers. The sun was almost submerged, blushing ruby across the horizon like the spill of either blood or wine or maybe both because life was just like that. Now was the perfect time he supposed. If a perfect time existed for such things.

With so many pent up emotions he'd never gotten around to expressing inside of him he could still hardly scrape together a few words for the universe that brought him to be, a parting message that didn’t sound as bitter as he felt. His words were a dulled blade, no longer suitable for defence or worth using as a weapon.

‘It wasn’t particularly nice knowing you, world. But, you were nice enough to let me stay for a while so, goodbye, I guess. Look after my family.’

And that was it.

‘Hmm.’

Yuuri’s eyes flew open right as he tipped over, searching frantically for the voice that wasn’t his.

They locked on to nothing.

Surely it didn’t matter, these being his last moments and all. He’d just pretend he hadn’t heard it. He was good at that. What did one disembodied voice mean to a dying man.

‘Is this a human thing? I think I’ve read you call it ‘skydiving’, however I’m sure it’s usually done with a parachute. You’re rather fragile creatures, aren’t you?’

He was positive he had fallen- was still falling, yet he could clearly hear a voice. He dared to open his eyes once more, curiosity cursing him as it always did. He wished he had he kept them closed.

‘What on earth are you doing you idiot? You’re going to die!’

The man grinned at him, cat like and smug. ‘Maybe. And you? What about you?’

Yuuri spluttered. He thought it was pretty obvious what was going on.

‘That’s what I thought. Suicide. Doesn’t happen where I’m from but it’s frightfully interesting.’ He gave Yuuri a curious once over. ‘Anyway, I'll explain later but I’ve decided I don’t want you to die so I’m going to fix this little mishap for us. Hold still.’

Hold still? He was hurtling towards the ocean at full speed and this apparently neurotic man was asking him to _hold still._ Even his death was going wrong. In a few seconds every bone in his body would be shattered and his corpse would be discovered floating around with some strange foreigner who he had never seen before in his life. God knows if his mother would even put his picture in the family shrine. 

The man tapped his phone a few times, relaxation clear in his features. Yuuri felt like they had been falling forever, definitely longer than they should have been. Perhaps this was what it felt like to die, each moment painfully slow, and filled with absurdity.

‘Right, sorry about the delay, sweetheart, everything’s running smoothly now. Preparing for teleportation in five…’

Yuuri blinked. Not just a foreigner, a mentally deranged one at that. 

‘Oh, I don’t think I ever even told you my name, how rude. Four…’

Yuuri did not care about the man’s name. Not one bit. This man who thought it acceptable to tag on to Yuuri's most significant moment as if he were a suicidal hitch hiker with no personal boundaries. 

‘I’m Christophe, but you can call me Chris. Three…’

Christophe, a name Yuuri had never heard before and would never hear again. Because they were going to die. Go splat or crunch or whichever gross sound accompanied hitting a large body of water and crumbling from the inside out. No more Chris or Yuuri. No more ridiculous conversation. And definitely no need for introductions. 

‘Aw, you look so lost- and adorable, Phichit’s going to love you.’ 

Going to? There _was no future_ for them. Didn’t he understand?

‘Two…don’t look so scared honey. You’re making me feel guilty. No one’s getting hurt.’

No one’s getting hurt.

No…one’s…getting…right. Yuuri's brain may as well have handed in its resignation the second his feet left solid ground for how much it was helping him make sense of anything. 

Everything it had been trying to piece together up until that point took a final blow and tumbled apart faster than his dream of a plain sailing departure from life and he truly gave up. Why did  _everything_ have to go wrong for him, what could he have possibly done to be dealt such a bad hand and get hijacked right as he used his one measly wildcard. It was plain unfair and he'd had enough of putting up with it. With whatever willpower still remained in him, he took hold of Christophe’s face in both hands and squeezed. Hard.

‘Listen, I don’t know what the hell is going on right now but could you do me an honest to God favour and just shut the fuck up? The last thing I have to see is your _stupid_ face so the last thing I hear will _not_ be your stupid voice.'

A startled blink.

‘It may seem redundant but I'm normally very polite so _please._ I only have one chance here and this is the one thing I’m adamant not to get wrong.’

For someone who had just been deeply insulted, Christophe’s reaction was utterly unexpected, but perhaps completely predictable for an obvious madman. For the first time in Yuuri’s life, he made someone laugh. Chris's face lit up and he tittered to himself in some language Yuuri couldn't place. Yuuri did not get the joke.

‘Me, the _added hassle_. Oh goodness, forget about Phichit, Viktor’s going to eat you up.’

‘For god’s sake, no one’s going to eat or do anything. We’re about to-’

The water is right there, a lick of stinging cold along his skin, and then…

‘One.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short first chapter because I haven't written in so long and I need to get back in to it. I'm trying real hard to get back my motivation to write so please leave a comment or a kudos if you liked this, it makes a huge difference. Next chapter will not be as pathetic I hope, props to all those ppl with regular update schedules and pre-written fics, how the FUCK do u do that ?? my inspirations


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